Transcript

1. The Number One Question from Patients

A few months after Fighting Chance opened for business, in the fall of 2002, we hired our first full-time therapist, Karrie Robinson. Local-based cancer patients visited our Sag Harbor clinic and before long Karrie had a very packed schedule of appointments. All offered free of charge.

Our therapist had spent 10 years as an oncology social worker at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC and was preeminent in her small, but growing profession offering specialized talk therapy to cancer patients.

Every so often, I’d ask Karrie how things were going and usually received an upbeat report. 

I distinctly recall asking “what is the most frequently requested intervention or request 

for empowerment?

And she replied, “Duncan, the Number One request from patients is: 

“Can you teach me to pray?”

So I asked Karrie “What do you say in response?” and Karrie said “Remember Sister Ann Marino, 

she runs the Cormaria Retreat House just down the road? 

When patients seek help praying, I just send them to Sister Ann.”

That collaboration, which Karrie forged with Sister Ann, continued for almost two decades. Year after year, we would send patients to visit the Sister who became a remarkable resource for those patients who were seeking a closer bond and a way to communicate with the almighty. 

One day, when I was visiting the clinic, I bumped into a patient named “Suzie.” She was in her late 50’s and had lung cancer. She had just returned from a visit with Sister Ann and I asked her how it had gone.

“Well,” she said, “I have an Angel on my Shoulder, Looking after me. Night and Day.”

My first instinct was to say “ah . . . common.” But instead, I asked about the Angel. And Suzie replied that she actually felt the Angel looking at her, and as a result, she felt stronger. Maybe strong enough to beat her cancer. 

Hey, you never know.

2. The Case of Damar Hamlin

My next encounter with the power of prayer took place in January 2023 when a professional football player with the Buffalo Bills, Damar Hamlin, was severely injured during a televised NFL football game.

The TV audience watched in horror as Damar writhed in agony after he was tackled so violently that he seemed to bend into a pretzel. And then . . . his heart stopped. Technically he was dead. Or was he? Amazingly, within a few minutes, Damar was revived but anything like a “recovery” was weeks away.

As news of Damar’s injury spread, scores of Americans did exactly what you would expect. 

They all started to pray. Before long, with the connective power of the internet, a “prayer group” with thousands of members - the largest recorded group in modern history - had galvanized. 

And they just kept praying.

Before long, Damar came out of his coma. And one year later, he was back playing football.

Which leaves us with this hopeful suggestion: For those of you who pray - or are just learning to - don’t be skeptical of miracles. The next time you know of someone suffering - perhaps from cancer - pray to God that they be given at least a FIGHTING CHANCE.

Not a miracle, just a FIGHTING CHANCE.

3. The Case of Fighting Chance

Another question concerning the power of prayer is this: 

Is the act of prayer helpful to the individual who is praying?

For some insight on that question, I’ll use my own experience. In the Spring of 2001, my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. She lived 100 days and I was her main caregiver.

For each of those 100 days, I set aside a few moments to drive down to the local beach and speak to God . . . or at least I thought I was speaking to him; no proof that he heard me.

But, I gained peace of mind in the act of praying. It was good for me. It was settling.

So, perhaps my miracle is this: In those moments - I had the clarity and found the strength to honor my mother’s suffering and turn my own grief into a positive force by creating an organization that would help many other cancer patients and their families. A 20+ year old charity, grew out of a son’s prayer for his mother.